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AboutAbout Me View My Guestbook  "The Bubba of Bombast!" If my blog does not meet your standards, then LOWER YOUR STANDARDS. Who the hell do you think you are, anyway?  SearchLinksSam's Art On Ebay What other people think of me: "... Angry bastard with guns." Kim du Toit " ...most opprobrious character..." Velociman "This is a man who truly cares about his health." steve h. "...read Rob's blog and believe every single word he says as the literal, handed-down-from-God truth."queenie "I've read his archives. Acidman's site is one of the most interesting blogs today." der stinker "...the Dark Lord of the Southeast... the Lord of Corrosion" Emperor Misha "...I’ll probably hate you or love you forever, but I won’t be indifferent..." baldilocks "...the virulent racist..." oliver willis "...absolutely the CHEESIEST Cracker I've ever met..."straight white guy ..."I like it when Pumpman says nice things about me over the weekend. " grouchy old Cripple ... "Acidman isn't Opie and Anthony's pet pussy." Laurence simon ..."Were Acidman paying me for psychiatric advice, I would suggest to him that he has a very strong Death Wish." bane ..."Acidman is almost pathologically truthful these days..."dustbury ... "I think a duel is in order..." feddie "I met the Lord of Gutrumbles and he is as fine a human being to spend time with as I could imagine.." pugs of war "Fuck you, Darlin'." Livey "These people could put a rugby club to shame.".... sam moore Bloggers I've Met (and some I've gotten drunk with) Dax Montana single southern guy straight white guy velocigod grouchy old cripple Da Goddess elisson zonker just christina oddybobo the confabulator who tends the fires raging dave Dog snot diaries parkway rest stop twisty boudicca's voice evil white guy bad juju catfish walrilla laughing wolf dizzy girl you bitch! Flynny mr. helpful just charming northwoodswoman cadillac tight frankensoul meanderings pugs of war mom's gone nuts shoe omnibus driver key monroe suburban blight kitten shooting Like Music? My friend Willy (no longer online) Good Stuff light and dark lil toni curses and chrome evilicious blonde erica's blog view from my window bend in the branch lemons and lollipops joni with the red toenails w.n. murphy moxie last one speaks rivrdog assrot wichi dude shadowscope two nervous dogs Chablis old and evil smoke on the water Charles Austin no nanny state Queenie the hungarian barbarian the boiling point naked villany neanderpundit dipnut mostly cajun Juggernuts on the patio uzi's musings Cal Tech Girl lopsided poopdeck it's a pundit the smallest minority bane the sandwich shop southern appeal red Georgia clay rosenblog old and evil KateSpot Dogs Don't Purr hoosierboy blackfive--the paratrooper of love circabellum florida cracker redneck ramblings this blog is full of crap desert cat dave munger New Revolution kim du toit Bill in peoria hog on ice roller coaster of hate Dennis the peasant xavier thoughts Ravenwood baldilocks yippie-ki-yay jay solo MR. LION rivrdog indigo insights IMAO ON THE THIRD hand More Good Stuff snug harbor just me irish whiskey66 blind chick racing alphecca moody mama caught in the x-fire Possumblog mad ogre beth donovan broad at bat no watermelons the fat guy baboon pirates north georgia dogma spleenville hi. I'm black. world wide rant Emperor Misha jim's spot Graumagus last man dancing bill quick rebel yell joanne jacobs the ville dean esmay cold fury right wing news the bitch girls ipse dixit country store bleeding brain DC Thornton between the coasts lobowalk medic mom sgt. hook Furriners I like tim blair daimnation whacking day keeskennis Cool Stops opinion journal drudge technorati overlawyered junk science number watch lucianne kausfiles Tall DogsinstapunditAndrew Sullivan vodkapundit samizdata den beste ArchivesJune 2009May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 ExtrasPDA Channel 
Credits
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January 25, 2005How much toilet paper do you need?I've seen this subject I buy it by the bale, in those 24-roll packages that are damn near as big as a stand-up freezer. I get the triple-ply soft stuff, too, because I like wiping my ass on something nice after having my butt-cheeks chapped by the idiocy of the human race every day. I go home and store rolls of that stuff EVERYWHERE, including the Emergency Back-Up closet that lets me know I'm down to four more rolls when I finally am forced reach in there. A bale of that stuff will last me almost a year. That's why I buy the good stuff. I don't use a lot of it every day. You want to run through toilet paper the way Sherman went through Georgia? Have a got-dam woman in the house. Some of 'em piss every ten minutes and they need half a roll of toilet paper to daub their delicate twats dry EVERY SINGLE TIME. Hell, I don't use that much when I take a righteous SHIT! They'll take one little dripping piss and clog your toilet with all the paper they used to "hygene" themselves afterward. When I was in high school, we "rolled" HOUSES with less paper than one woman can use up in a night just from twat-daubing. Guys just shake it, tuck ole Roscoe away and what's left over ends up absorbed by underwear. Why can't wimmen do the same thing? Piss, shake your ass like a dog after a bath, give that Golden Coochie ONE quick wipe and put your pants back on. Flush the toilet and get on with your life. Save some goddam trees. I could staunch a bleeding femoral artery with less toilet paper than a woman uses after taking a piss. Something is wrong with that picture.
Comments
I will start a slash pine tree farm to keep the cootchies more hygenic than my drawers. Having said that, you have to get the aloe stuff, man. Then finish off with a Tucks pad. I'm telling you, that is fucking living. Posted by: Velociman on January 25, 2005 08:38 PMThanks for a new phrase! Twat daubing. I love it. Posted by: Renee on January 25, 2005 09:40 PMAnother great line in blog literature..."I could staunch a bleeding femoral artery with less toilet paper than a woman uses after taking a piss." Thanks, Acidman! Posted by: zonker on January 25, 2005 10:12 PMToo fucking funny. I almost shot orange juice out my nose, and that might have hurt. We go through a 24 pak so fast my wife keeps emergency 24 paks. Posted by: joe g on January 25, 2005 11:26 PMROTFLMAO! Rob, that's the funniest damn thing you have ever written and it's all true! My wife goes out of town to the in-laws for two weeks and I use one roll of TP, she comes home and a new roll is gone in two DAYS! We're talking the jumbo roll too. Posted by: Bob M. on January 25, 2005 11:38 PM... "twat-daubing"... that is totally fucking classic... Posted by: Eric on January 26, 2005 07:29 AMHilarious and so true. I thought I was the only one who had a wife that could go through TP like a cokehead goes through a gram. Having recently moved to a house that has city sewer vs. septic, I could care less how much she uses and I get a big grin every time someone flushes. Posted by: jimboy on January 26, 2005 08:39 AMI wrote a post back in November about this same topic - not so much about Quantity, but about Quality. You can read it here. Posted by: Elisson on January 26, 2005 10:02 AMOh man, my GF clogs the toilet EVERY time she spends the night. I haven’t once in the 15 years I’ve lived here. And if she spends the weekend she goes through an entire role. What does she do with it? Clog my toilet, that’s what! Posted by: Pete on January 26, 2005 06:48 PMPost a comment
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