December 12, 2004

random notes

*If a hotel throws you out of your room for making too much noise at night, do you still have to pay for the room?

* I am convinced that The Mutant and velociman are the same person. He just wears contact lenses to hide those eyes in daylight hours. After the sun goes down, however...

* My darlin' key monroe has the most wonderful, beautiful rack hands I've ever seen. She massaged a kink out of my neck last night and I feel like a new man today. I STILL don't know why she wouldn't give me a theraputic blow-job to go along with the neck-rub. My request was strictly medicinal. I asked politely and she threw an empty Killian's Red beer bottle at me. Thank Bejus she missed me and hit Catfish instead.

* Yeah, we almost had a knife-fight. That's what happens when an ex-marine gets heavily into the Scotch bottle.

* DO NOT allow this guy to handle a loaded firearm whether he's been drinking or not. If you say, "Don't pull the hammer back," the next thing you hear is a "CLICK!" followed by "What did you say?"

* This woman is a real trooper. She was sick, but she came anyway and was as delightful and vivacious as always. Kelley, your husband is one lucky man.

* Last night, I tasted the worst goddam moonshine home-made wine I've ever tasted in my life. The bearer of that gift kept saying, "It's FRESH!!!" Yeah, it certainly was. That shit could kill a Clydesdale horse and leave an ugly expression on its face. Aging is a GOOD thing for whiskey. "Fresh," as in uncut, right out of the copper worm, ain't exactly a taste-enhancer.

* I didn't see a whole lot of this guy. He brought a girlfriend with him and I believe that they kept slipping off to play "hide the salami" all night long. I wanted to take flagrante delecto photos, but he wouldn't let me. He also said that I turned him into a Democrat with my blog. I didn't sleep well after he told me that.

* My room this morning resembles a third-world village after a bloody battle in a savage civil war. The place obviously has been ravaged by marauding Visigoths. I don't have any dead bodies HERE, but I'm afraid to check the hallway.

* We all agreed on three top peeves about blogging. #1 was comment spammers, #2 was trolls and #3 was... I forget what #3 was, but I know we all agreed on it.

* If I tried to do this every weekend for a month, I'd be dead in three weeks.