September 17, 2004

I can name three things right this second that Kerry stands for, and I have evidence to back it up. Kerry cares about a) being President regardless of the means he uses to get there, b) making America's defense systems weaker, and c) ketchup.

The evidence is right before our eyes. His campaign, his senate record, and his bankbook. I bet I could name a few more, too.

I think, however, that this was not what you were looking for. I won't badger you for that $20...

Yes!! I will take that challenge!

And now, three things that John Kerry stands for, with proof:

Restrictive gun control:

http://www.nraila.org/Issues/FactSheets/Read.aspx?ID=161

Elimination of the United States' ability to defend itself:

http://www.usasurvival.org/ck021204.shtml

And, last but certainly not least:

Extreme colonoscopy exams and enemas for all!

http://www.floridatoday.com/!NEWSROOM/localstoryN0729KERRYPHOTOFLAPS.htm

I mean, what else could that large hose, hospital-gown and satisfied -refreshed- expression possibly mean other than a nice Kerry Katharsis?

:D

I think you owe Kelley $20.

Kelley, how about a nice dinner on my tab in Helen at the blogfest? YOU KNEW those answers were correct but NOT what I was looking for.

See what I mean about wimmen? They're tricky.

I'll give you four things John Kerry stands for:

1. Teresa Heinz Kerry saying, "fetch me a ..."
2. The National Anthem at sporting events.
3. Being in position to be knocked over by a Secret Service agent with indefinite paternity.
4. The servants wiping his ass.

Oh, Bejus! Now Key is on Kelley's side.

See what I mean about wimmen?

Serves your right, next time have some damn rules. Oh, by the way, women rule the world, in case you haven't figured that out yet. I think you need to buy a red corvette.

1) Money.
2) Power.
3) Fame.

The end.

1. Communism abroad.
2. Socialism at home.
3. John Kerry.

1.John Kerry wiill create more jobs by raising taxes on the wealthy and busisness.
2. John Kerry will ensure every American has health care by creating a universal health care system. Only an idiot would not want that.
3. John Kerry will keep America safe from terrorism by deferring to the U.N. (France and Germany) and treating terrorist like criminals.
Now ain't that a load of (c)BS?

How:

By making the Franco-German Axis love us.

By hiring the unemployed to give him piggy-back rides (shamelessly lifted from an ALF episode where someone dreamt he ran for President)

By returning to the policies that brought us the Clinton Bubble; sic Justice Department on Microsoft, bring in new money by only accepting re-election campaign funds from foriegners (taking money from domestic corporations would be corrupting)

By clearing all the corpses out of the street from the arsenic in our drinking water.

By praying very hard "Please Gaia, make it DIDN'T happen", returning us to 9/10 conditions.

By simply changing everything on paper. As soon as a Democrat's in office, all homelessness will dissapear and deficits will become surplusses.

By fixing everyone up with crazy African chicks who've inherited diamond mines or holindase sauce factories or something.

By decreeing that machinery will no longer run off of expensive stuff that's hard to get without dealing with other countries. Henceforth everything must run off of whatever it SHOULD, in an ideal world, run off of. (Might have to execute all engineers, or possibly everyone in the country with eyeglasses, and replace them with a new, proleterian class of "imagineers")

Gigoloism, shooting little yellow savages in the back, abusing Secret Service Agents. That last one, by the way, is a REAL bad idea. If he got elected not one of those guys would take a bullet for that shitheel.

Three reasons:

1) J

2) F

3) K

Keep the twenty and buy some fireworks for Nov. 3.

1.) Yes
2.) No
3.) Maybe

It's great that Bush tells us what he stands for and how he's going to accomplish his goals:

1. I'm for war -- and I'll send every damn one of your children to their deaths -- even if that war isn't justified.

2. I'm for the economy and fiscal responsibility -- and I'll give tax breaks until the whole damn country is bankrupt if I have to. (And what little money we have left I'll spend on my war -- see 1 above.)

3. I'm for old people -- and I think they are all rich so I'll increase the cost of medicare until they can't afford it anymore.

4. I'm for small government -- and to show you, I'll create another bureaucracy and head it up with the God of National Security.

5. I'm for freedom -- and to prove how much I love freedom I'll lock up anyone who has a name that sounds Middle Eastern and I'll take away your freedom of speech . . .

Couldn't tell ya what Kerry stands for, he waffles so much.

Hey, I know, let me ask Dan Rather....he might know. He is so...

Never mind. Bad moment there:)

Mannaz
If you stick your finger down your throat,RIGHT NOW, you may be able to throw up that cool-ade before it turns you into a mind-numbed kerrybot.

Good Luck, and may the farse be with you.

Kerry stands for Utopianism which was disavowed by both Karl Marx and Adam Smith as a dangerous concept. Aldous Huxley and George Orwell wrote clearly about the dangers much better than I can.

Hey Mannaz,

I believe the question was what does JOHN KERRY stand for, and how would he accomplish it. Just like 'The Flipper', you guys are never able to answer a simple question with a simple answer.

A-Man, I wouldn't worry too much about your twenty bucks, because there is no one answer to your question. Kinda like arguing with a three year old.

You guys think only in black and whit.

You assume that just because I don't like Bush that I must LOVE Kerry....it just isn't true.

I don't like Kerry but my dislike of Kerry is far less than my dislike of Bush for may reasons a couple of which are listed above.

Mannaz,

There just might be hope for you. I never cast any aspersions upon whether or not you were a rabid Kerry supporter, I merely questioned your reply to A-Man's questions, which was no reply of any substance, but a diatrabe centered on Bush.

I will be the first to admit that there are a lot of things about Bush that I do not like, his spending money like a drunken sailor is but one. I do, however, in this day and age, have to ask myself the hard questions—and answer them honestly—without the partisan blinders on, and it all boils down to this. George Bush will do a better job of defending my and my loved ones freedom and lives against islamoterrorists than John Kerry would. John Kerry, by his record, has shown that he will not.

These are serious times. I know, the democrats are howling that the republicans are trying to scare the piss out of the public about terrorism to get re-elected, but they are right. Make no mistake, that asshole Zaquari over in Iraq would, in a heartbeat, saw *your* head off. He and his ilk cares not that you are a democrat or a republican, or black or white. Are you willing to deal with going to the shopping center, and having to worry about being blown up?

The money question: If Osama had a ballot, for whom would he cast his vote? Be honest. Were this not a time of war, I could even consider casting my ballot for Joe Leiberman, but now is not a time for wishful thinking. We are at war. You might hate the President for any number of reasons, but if you are honest, you have to admit that he has kept America safe, and he will continue to do so. If the house is on fire, you should concern yourself with putting the fire out, not painting the bedroom walls.

Mannaz equations:
1. Having soldiers do the job they signed up for, which carries substatial risk of life and limb = sending all young Americans to certain death against their wills.
2. Fiscal responsibility = not rewarding economic productivity.
3. Charging a price for something that is closer to it's actual cost = increasing it's cost.
4. Merging several different bureaucracies together = creating one more giant bureaucracy.
5. Not locking up anyone who looks Middle Eastern or taking away freedom of speech = locking up anyone who looks Middle Eastern and taking away freedom of speech.

good post, i forwarded it to my friends

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